Woman slammed for calling husband ‘biased’ over treatment of resident niece
A woman has come under fire online for telling her husband he treats their niece, who lives with them, differently than their biological children.
The dad took to Reddit to explain their family dynamic, under the username Toddlernightmare, saying he has an 8 and 2-year-old son.
The man and his wife, both in their early 30s, recently welcomed their 5-year-old niece, daughter of his wife’s sister, and it looks like she could stay permanently.
The stay-at-home dad explained that his wife had returned to work as she earned more and they were happy with the dynamics of the household.
But he came up in a bedtime argument, as the father said: “His niece came to live with us eight months ago, and it looks like she’s going to be staying much longer, maybe even permanently.
“She is not [is a] pretty girl, but was raised by drug addicts, so her routine was practically non-existent. I have established a solid routine in our home for her (such as chores, sleep schedule, etc.) and she has adjusted very well.
“My wife works from 8 to 5 years. The kids get up at 7 a.m., then my wife takes the 8-year-old to school and I’m home with the other two. The 8-year-old goes to bed at 8 p.m., the 5-year-old at 7:30 p.m. and the 2-year-old at 7 p.m.
His wife let it be known that his niece wanted to move her bedtime to 8 p.m., but the father refused, saying the eldest son had gone to bed later because he had more chores.
He continued: “My wife really pissed me off and said I was treating her niece unfairly because she’s not mine. I said it was ridiculous. said that we could adopt her one day and that I must treat her as mine.
“I told her that I treat her like my own and that I maintain a regular sleep schedule for all my children, it’s not like the 8 year old can stay up later than expected or the 2 year old can skip naps simply because he hated sleeping.
“She called me a biased ‘dad’ and an AH for putting my kids before her niece. I told her that if I’m such a horrible dad, she’s welcome to be a SAHM and look after kids while I go to work. She was really hurt.”
Newsweek has contacted Toddlernightmare for comment.
The post, which can be read here, garnered more than 10,000 upvotes and comments, as people criticized his wife’s outburst.
Many people weighed in, as Raging_Carrot47 said: “Might it help to remind your wife this week to confirm that you treat your niece the same way you treat yours? (If you haven’t already does, of course).”
Poo_explosion wrote, “Why does your wife ignore the fact that their bedtimes are mostly/entirely based on age?”
Blzzl pointed out, “Plus he treats her EXACTLY like his own. She’s 5, the other is 8, 5 goes to bed early. NTA.”
Riley_Stenhouse said to himself, “I would insist on marriage counseling if my partner accused me of something as frankly disgusting as treating the children in your care badly because they are not yours. “
The chart below, provided by Statista, shows how much Americans sleep.
This_Cauliflower1986 commented: “NTA but your wife is. She’s trying to make decisions based on developmental needs at an age of favoritism. It’s not favoritism and it’s as simple as that. Could she projecting his own anxiety about his own favoritism or wanting to avoid it onto your actions?”
Western-Hole asked, “NTA. I don’t know what your wife’s problem is, but the five-year-old doesn’t need to stay up later than he does right now.”
While Crawdad29 added, “NTA. You set proper schedules for the kids. The little ones always push. The parents stay fast to the routine. Your wife is irrelevant.”
The set bedtime for the 5-year-old follows the recommendations of the National Sleep Foundation, which says preschoolers should rest between 10 a.m. and 1 p.m.
This is reduced to nine and 11 hours for children of school age, and it is even less for teenagers who are advised to sleep between eight and ten hours.
Unlike newborns who need to sleep between 2 and 5 p.m., infants need 12 to 15 hours of sleep and toddlers are recommended to rest between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m.